It’s common to get in a place of feeling stuck. You know you want to change but find yourself paralyzed from fear — fear of failure, of being uncomfortable, of the unknown. You may have an inner feeling of unhappiness with where you are, with your habits, your environment, and your relationships. You may think it’s better to hold on to the familiar and to the things you do well rather than take risks and leaps that might not pan out. All of these feelings and fears are completely normal.
However, 2021 is coming to a close, and as you reflect on the past year and your goals for 2022, you might also be thinking there are some aspects of your life you “should” improve. You may even be considering a new year’s resolution or goal for yourself — exercising more often, eating healthier, sticking to a financial budget, reducing your alcohol consumption, playing with your kids more, etc. Any and all of these resolutions are great, but the road to successful goal execution isn’t easy. In fact, most new year’s resolutions rarely make it past the first 30 days. And there is good reason for that. The ego. Your ego resists change. It’s uncomfortable, it’s unfamiliar, and, let’s face it, it’s just plain hard. Understanding this, and considering all that could go wrong, it’s important to create the most paved road to success as possible. Otherwise, you risk the ego convincing you that it’s easier to quit then continue pressing forward.
Below I have created a list of some actionable steps you can apply to any behavior you are looking to change (in this example, I will use the goal of exercising more).
1) Be Specific. What does exercising more look like? Exercising 3, 4, or 5 days per week? How long for each session (20-60 minutes)?
2) Start Small. Pick an actionable goal that seems easy and 100% doable. Do not expect to go from not exercising at all to exercising 5 days per week. Start small — 2 days a week and slowly add a day every other week.
3) Analyze. Discover how you spend your time currently by logging a few days on a time table. Can you find places where you can add in exercise and take something else out?
4) Schedule. Plan it into your life. Treat it like any other important event.
5) Find an Accountability Partner. Find someone willing to join you. Having another person you care about relying on you and encouraging you can be useful support to prevent you from quitting.
6) Make it Simple. Streamline the behavior so it’s the easy choice to make. Pick a gym on route from work to home, pack your gym bag and leave it next to your desk, find an exercise class you enjoy that’s at a convenient time.
7) Do Not Expect Perfection. Slip ups will happen; you can count on this. Just keep going back – again, and again, and again. Remember, it’s better to do something fairly well over the long haul than to be perfect for a short time and then quit altogether.
8) Give Yourself Rewards. There’s a reason sticker charts work for kids. Find some way to reward yourself for consistently exercising for a month. A massage, new tennis shoes, a day off the next week, etc.
9) Hire Someone. Okay, so you tried for 6 months, and you are still feeling stuck and unable to stick to it. Find a professional to help you. You can’t be a good at everything, and sometimes it’s better to leave it to a skilled professional to be your guide and help you when you are stuck.
10) Be Kind to Yourself. Be forgiving of slip ups, learn from them, and try again. Change is difficult, and it can be downright messy at times. Don’t beat yourself up and throw in the towel at the first sight of failure. Forgive yourself, and find ways to do better the next time.
As 2021 comes to an end, take those “should” improve goals and turn them into “will” improve actions. With a steady road, concrete steps, and the right attitude, you can truly set yourself up for success for 2022.
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